Since When Did I Invite You to Comment On How I Look?

Women live under a constant state of scrutiny for our appearance. The bar is so much lower for men. Men don’t face judgment for what they wear, they’re not expected to wear make-up or high heels, and they have the unspoken privilege of walking around being accepted for who they are.

In addition to the bar being lower for men, they rarely face verbal scrutiny from women. Even if we do notice something, we are “too nice” to say it out loud. But maybe we should, because this is the crap I deal with on a daily basis:

Then I’ll go home, and my boyfriends will complain:

Answers to all of the above: NO. I get enough unwanted attention as it is merely based on my physical appearance, even when I am dressed as unisex and anonymously as possible. I get dressed for myself, not for other people, and certainly not for the male gaze. I will continue to dress “like a man” (pants, comfortable flat shoes, button-up shirts), until people treat me like one (I get judged based on the merit of my work and no one’s looking at me in particular).

Alternate title I considered for this article:

I didn’t realize that my appearance was a party that everyone else was invited to.

Dudes: Have you found yourselves looking your female coworkers up and down? Do you make unasked comments about their appearance, make-up, and clothes? Please stop.

Women: Do you face this sh*t too? How do you deal with it? Should we just “flaunt it” and not give a f*ck? Have you adopted an unofficial, inoffensive work uniform?

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