The SARS Song

Sung to the tune of “If You’re Happy and You Know It”

If you’re having trouble breathing… you got SARS.
And you’re constantly caught sneezing… you got SARS.
If you’re choking coughing wheezing
Hacking freezing anal-leaking
That disease of yours is peaking… you got SARS.

If no one wants to come and see you… you got SARS
Or you take the train to T.O. … you got SARS
If you’re flying home from Hong Kong
And you feel that something’s quite wrong
Ten-day weekend with a mask on… you got SARS.

So what if the World Health Board says… you got SARS?
And your neighbour’s great-great-grandma died from SARS?
Don’t say you’re afraid of “Tronno”
Get your ass over here pronto
Am I speaking Esperanto? … you got SARS.

Don’t be racist ‘gainst the Chinks now… you got SARS!
Come back to the 6ix even though… you got SARS.
Although you were sick for ten days
Quarantined employees ain’t paid
All that you can do is get laid… you got SARS.

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