I Lost Touch with Spirituality

It’s time to go back “home”

2020 has been hell for me. It’s not just about the pandemic either. On top of all of the chaotic and catastrophic global happenings, this year was the year I lost all four of the women who were influential to my childhood.

In January I lost my paternal grandmother, August claimed both my Other Mother and my Maternal Grandmother, and October took my mom from me.

This was a year of grief, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and redesigning my life. Somewhere along the way I lost touch with my pagan roots. I stopped reading about it, I stopped practicing, I even stopped thinking about it.

In a fleeting moment of calm, I thought about why it is that I still feel so much grief over my losses this year, and it occurred to me that I let go of my belief system.

No. I don’t believe it is. I think that being in touch with a higher power, whether it is one god, or a pantheon of many, provides you with the strength to hold your head up and continue living life to the fullest despite the traumas you’ve suffered.

I think that spirituality helps to support us as we travel our individual paths of healing. It gives us a safe-haven from the storm when shit gets really rough.

This will look different for everyone based on their personal belief system and/or choice of religion, but for me it will look like:

I will always miss those that I have lost, but in time it will become easier. I will look back on their memories with fondness instead of sadness. The waves of grief will subside and happiness will prevail once again.

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